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FAQs: Power Imbalance

Power imbalance is an ongoing pattern where one partner systematically holds more control over decisions, resources, and the other's freedom. This is done with a combination of methods, including financial control, isolation, and psychological tactics. It produces compliance based on fear rather than genuine agreement, which is fundamentally different from the normal give-and-take of a relationship.

Key indicators are: 

  • you feel afraid to express opinions or disagree without serious consequences;
  • you monitor your own words and behaviour to avoid triggering their anger;
  • you doubt your own memory and perceptions;
  • their moods and reactions shape your daily functioning. 

These are not signs of a difficult relationship — they are signs of sustained psychological abuse.

Gaslighting is the systematic manipulation of a person into doubting their own memory and sense of reality through denial, contradiction, and blame-shifting. Common examples include phrases like: "That never happened." "You're crazy." "You're too sensitive." It is a deliberate control tactic, not ordinary denial or defensiveness.

Yes. The 2021 Divorce Act amendments define "family violence" to include patterns of coercive and controlling behaviour, psychological abuse, financial abuse, and harassment — not just physical violence. Courts must consider family violence in all parenting decisions. Coercive control is not yet a standalone criminal offence under the Criminal Code, though advocates are working toward that change.

It depends on severity and safeguards. Properly screened mediation with a trained mediator may be possible in some situations. Where there is active violence, ongoing threats, or fear that cannot be safely managed, court-based processes with legal protection are more appropriate. You should never be pressured into mediation if you do not feel safe to participate genuinely.

Under the 2021 Divorce Act, courts must consider family violence in every parenting order. Findings can result in supervised parenting time, restricted decision-making authority, supervised exchanges, and in serious cases, limited or suspended contact. The primary considerations are the safety of the child and the safety of the victim parent.

Financial abuse is recognized in Canadian family law. Full financial disclosure is mandatory: courts can compel documents and penalize non-compliance, and  improper asset transfers can be reversed. Legal Aid provides priority service for domestic violence situations. Women's shelters and family violence advocates can connect you with emergency financial resources, housing, and legal referrals at no cost.

Safety planning before leaving is essential. 

  • Identify safe emergency contacts and a safe place to go;
  • gather copies of key documents quietly;
  • set aside emergency funds if possible;
  • establish a code word with trusted contacts;
  • do not tell the abusive partner in advance;
  • contact a shelter to help coordinate a safe exit if leaving alone is unsafe.

After leaving: 

  • change locks,
  • change all passwords,
  • and apply for a restraining order if there is ongoing risk.

Dial 211 for local resources anywhere in Canada. Contact your provincial family violence crisis line: Assaulted Women's Helpline in Ontario (1-866-863-0511), Alberta Family Violence Info Line (310-1818), or VictimLinkBC (1-800-563-0808). Visit ShelterSafe.ca to find a nearby shelter. These services are confidential and available 24/7.

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